Breaking up isn't hard to do...

Lamé and I are breaking up. We've been together for three years. I put up with the one unusable door and then the two unusable windows, but an unusable air conditioner? In the desert?! That's the last straw. I'm replacing her with this:

Hopefully this little baby will be in my possession by the end of next week. It's a Toyota Yaris hatchback. It's teeny weeny and gets really great gas mileage. After all, I am only one person. My mom said, "What are you going to do when you get married and have kids?" I'll sell it, yo. If it were up to her, I'd buy a minivan "just in case." I need some help with names for it. I won't know if it's male or female until I have it in my possession, so I'm open to all kinds of names. Bring it.

Good News

So... I really am going to post some great stuff soon.... I hope. I don't hope it's great (I know it is), I hope it's soon. I have some great stuff on eating disorders and parenting and miscellaneous nonsense. Life is good and busy, I got promoted to the position of "Children's Specialist." I'm now part of the Admin team at the shelter and will be part of the on-call rotation starting in about 2 months. Basically to answer random questions at all hours of the night. The good news is that I'm making more money, doing work I LOVE with people I love and life is good. Starting next week, I'll be teaching the weekly parenting class and all of the various children's groups. I'm really excited. I've done a good bit of this for the past 2.5 years, but now my responsibilities are greater as well as my opportunity to help my clients. Whoopee! Oh yes, my Ritzy is moving here this weekend! That's the best part. I'll try really hard to get my good posts up this weekend and do some more work on my template.

Later!

Wanda Sykes should be in EVERY movie. Seriously.

Ch... ch... ch... ch... Changes

I'm playing with my template again. It's been a long time since I've played with code, so bear with me. I'm also experiencing insomnia a little bit again... hence the late night template changing. Never fear, there are 1,000 more edits to come... I'm also open for feedback, but if you tell me you hate it, I need to know why - and how you would change it. I'm looking for suggestions!

Thanks all!

Really Really Really Really Bad Mood

I've been in a really bad mood since Wednesday. Truly. I'm monumentally grouchy and everything pisses me off. So... here are my rants. Deal with it.



Guess what everyone? This is MY BLOG. If you don't like it, leave. You are not free to hate on me. I am outspoken. If you say something rude or SEXIST I will correct your dumb ass because that's what I do.



I am a FEMINIST... Who is sick of your stupid preconceived notions about what that means and who you've decided that I am because of it. Why do people flinch when I use that word? Yes I will make feminist comments at institute, in Sunday School, and especially in Relief Society. And you know what? The sisters in my Relief Society actually benefit from the things I say. They've told me so. I do not hate men, think I should hold the priesthood, or think that being a mother is oppressive. Your benevolent sexism (thanks Meghan) is not welcome here. Basically I hate you. Not really, but I do today because I'm in a bad mood.



I am also a daughter of God, who attends all my church meetings and basically goes through all of the motions that you happen to think I should, but I actually understand why I do it and I don't try to oppress other people with my oppressive and outdated patriarchal cultural practices. I will never be who you think I should be. It's not going to happen. But I'm going to continue trying my hardest to be who God wants me to be.



I have no formal education. You got that? None. I am by no means stupid or unqualified. I am freaking brilliant dammit! I believe that education is important. I am going through my life the way I choose to and on my own terms. I am bright enough and experienced enough to do your job better than you can. Yes I'm talking to you. If you don't believe me, try me.



I basically hate every guy I've met here so far. They're seriously a bunch of assholes. They are spoiled rotten and even the ones who have jobs and houses sit on their asses and play video games all day. They are looking for the younger versions of their mothers to wipe their noses and clean up after them while they verbally abuse them and go to church when they feel like it. Oh yes, if you are older than 18 and you play video games regularly, I hate you.

Not Quite Blank

I'm sconezing right now. Jonesing for a scone. I haven't even eaten a scone in like 10 years. And I don't think I even like scones. Has it really been that long? I'm gonna think about this...

...I seem to recall a scone-selling place in Provo... it was really greasy in there and I didn't want to touch anything or eat anything (and I didn't) and I was with strangers (maybe I dreamed it?)... no it was real. I seem to recall the presence of a certain Davido Hyer (coolest kid EVER)... but why were we at a greasy scone place with strangers? Maybe it was a dream. I think we went there after going to a movie... to see Spiderman 2? No, that was with the ward and James Barker met me there and it was so packed we didn't even get to sit together (I sat by Kat) and I made 3 rows of people laugh near the end of the movie. That was a good night. I Robot? No that was a bunch of wardies and Mindy Thibodeau and her man Christian - who got embarrassed when I holla-ed at Will Smith's fine behind on the screen. Napoleon Dynamite? No - Chris Bailey: the best movie buddy ever. Bourne Supremacy.... was Chris Bailey, Joe Miller and Ryan Soldan. Saints and Soldiers? Possibly... my memory is fuzzy. I know Davido was in my car on the way to a movie at some point because he fixed my window and I gave him three cheers. Was anyone else there with us that can fill in the alleged scone-incident blanks for me? This is gonna drive me mad. But now I'm thinking about all the movies I saw while living up there and all the various people I saw them with. Good Times. I really will come visit before too long.

I'm Gonna Puke

There's a really big difference between the ability to carry a tune and the ability to sing. This poor little train wreck really only has the former ability and just barely at that. My mom was watching this on PBS Wednesday and we all started howling in pain as soon as this began. Just needed to vent.

Tis the season!

Two beautiful babies were born to dear friends this week! Congratulations!

Kaden Bently Thorpe was born to Heidi and Eric Thorpe on July 1st, and he weighed 8lbs and was 19.5 inches!

Abigail Marie Gunter was born to Natalie and Lewis Gunter this morning, 8lbs 6oz!

Congratulations to my dear friends - I love you!!!

Self Love

It's okay if you're in love with me.

I am.

This pic was taken today. My hair is up as it reached 116 degrees today!

Here's what I wrote recently:

June 9, 2007

There are days I love and respect body and days I hate it. Today I love it. I feel strong, sexy, and confident today. Days like this I want to walk around naked all day – but alas, I don’t live alone. As cool as my roommates are I still don’t think they’d appreciate it.

Everywhere we look, we're faced with some form of plastic surgery. Whether it's the obviously fake noses and breasts on tv and in magazines, or the programs showing it, selling it, and glorifying it. I sat behind a girl in church with an obvious nose job. I truly hope that it came about out of some medical necessity and not because she really hated a part of herself so much.

While watching the tragedy of self hate going on all over the TV recently, I asked myself whether or not there were any parts of my body or face that I would surgically alter. I did an inventory. I can honestly say that I wouldn't change a thing. There isn't any way that any feature could be improved upon. I believe everything to be well-suited to me.

I've had some great conversations with little girls in the shelter lately. They asked me whether I was in a relationship or not and it led to a conversation where-in I was able to talk to them about the importance of setting their own goals and making themselves happy because they will never be happy with anyone else if they can't be happy alone. Let me say that again, because it's important: If you aren't happy with yourself, by yourself, you cannot be truly happy with someone else. Your unhappiness with yourself will not go away just because someone cares about you. If you are miserable when you are single, you will carry that misery in some form into your relationships. To quote J-Lo, "Get Right." I found a really great new website recently and this lady makes some good points and asks legit questions about this very problem.

I also noticed that people frequently disassociate from their bodies. I caught myself doing it while hiking one morning. When I was having difficulty at very steep places I found myself saying things like, "My body doesn't want to do this." My body and my Self are not separate. And I did want to do it! The fact of the matter was that I was trying not to accept responsibility for being less strong than I wanted to be. Instead of disassociating from and blaming my body as if were something I cannot control, I merely needed to hike more to gain strength. Self love is a process and just when I'm sure I've gotten it down, I discover another way that I've been oppressing my Self.

I find that I feel the most beautiful, strong, and confident when I am speaking in front of other women. Encouraging them and supporting them. Empowering other women and helping them understand who they really are and what their true potential is has become my passion.

This post seems kind of disjointed to me, but I'm leaving it here because I really want to post it. I'll come back and do some more edits later.

This is a picture of my kissy-spot.