11 January 2005

roses really smell like poo poo poo...

This was a real conversation I had with a co-worker today. We'll call him "Double Standard" or "DS."
We were looking at a People magazine someone brought in.
DS: I hate Jessica Simpson, she's stupid and she's so crude.
Me: Why? Because she burps and farts?
DS: Yes, but also because I was watching her show and her husband and his brother had to leave the house because she went to the bathroom.
Me: (Laughing) So, girls can't go to the bathroom?
DS: (Perfectly serious) Of course girls can go to the bathroom, but hers SMELLED. And, it smelled so bad that they had to leave.
Me: (Puzzled) You're kidding right?
DS: (Very serious) It is absolutely unacceptable for a girl to do something like that, it's disgusting.
Me: (Getting a little bit riled up) So, it's ok for a guy to fog up a house, but a girl's poo should smell like roses?
DS: It shouldn't stink, what she did was totally out of line...
Me: (Angry) SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT MY S#*% SHOULDN'T STINK?!
At this moment he looked at me like I was crazy and stated like he was perfectly normal:
DS: No, it shouldn't. That's gross. Girls shouldn't do that.
Me: (In absolute shock) Well, I hate to break it to you, but the female population of the entire world is malfunctioning. You're sick and you'll be single for the rest of your life.

With this I walked away, looking over my shoulder in disgust. Later, as he was leaving for the day, I called him by his new nickname. I don't think he appreciated it, but I feel that I've done the world some good, can you imagine if he went around for the rest of his life thinking that girls have the power to not smell bad?

"I know you think MY S#*% don't stink.... roses really smell like poo poo poo..."

4 comments:

Em said...

That's one of my grandma's favorite lines. Whenever somebody is acting all high and mighty she'll shout, "My gosh! Walking around acting like your S#*% don't stink!" Gotta love Grams!

kat said...

i was already overwhelmed by unrealistic expectations.
this took it to a whole new level.

Erika said...

My poo smells pretty

Ryan said...

I agree with DS. Girls should not stink. (period)

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