Here is somewhat of an explanation of my current path, trust me, this is abridged.
I came to the realization that throughout all of my struggles of late, I have consistently found solace and peace at work. There were days on end when I was sure I could not get out of bed and face another day at that school, but I was always able to go to work. I found that I deeply resented that school for taking the energy that I wanted to give the women and children in the shelter. My sister said to me one day that if I didn't look forward to getting up every morning and going to that school, that I probably shouldn't be there. So I prayed and pondered. Earnestly. I looked deeply inside and evaluated my intention. I realized that my truest intention in going to cosmetology school was to provide a way for me to help other women. Some of the most profound experiences of my life have occurred as I have helped another woman to recognize her true beauty. So I naturally concluded that I needed to learn mainstream techniques for discovering beauty so that I could impart this knowledge to my fellow sisters. What I discovered is that real, true beauty comes from inside. We've all heard this and it sounds cliché; but believe me, it gains substance when you see it in action.
Beauty is seeing a woman lift her eyes and feel capable for the first time. Beauty is seeing a mother who has endured humiliating abuse humble herself even further and accept help from strangers in rearing her children. Beauty is a child who has known nothing but cruelty and fear; help another child who is new to shelter; it’s seeing them encourage each other and hold each other’s hands and show deep kindness.
In the past 2 years that I've worked at the shelter, I've considered leaving on several occasions to find a job where I can make more money. Whenever this has happened, my heart has told me that I can leave if I want, but that it will stay behind. I will eventually leave this particular shelter, but only when a better position at another program becomes available. I will advocate for victims of family violence as long as I live.
This summer, I'm going to start taking classes that interest me, focusing particularly on writing and women’s studies. I want to continue to work as a direct advocate for DV victims - and as a writer – to tell their stories and give them a voice. As far as a major goes, I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. I’ll keep ya’ll posted.