I was just sitting here reading blogs and listening to music and I realized what a jerk I am. I've only been home from Johnny's funeral for an hour and I'd already forgotten about it. I need and want to post my experience. Out of love and respect for the Robertson family.
It was such a sad and moving service. But like a lot of memorial services, you could feel the family pulling together and lifting each other. There was so much focus on him finally being free from the horrible addictions that consumed his life. I was there with over a dozen of my co-workers. We all cried with the family. His brave little 10 year old niece, Lindsay, got up and talked about how much she loved her uncle and how happy he always made her. His dad told us that recently, John had committed to call his dad weekly to set goals for getting clean and had been really consistent. He'd asked his dad to help him to become the man he really wanted to be. His dad and older brother sang and played guitar. His brother gave the eulogy and just stood there hanging his head and apologizing for not setting a better example for his baby brother. It broke my heart. Then he raised his head and said, "We never know who our actions will effect and what the outcome may be." With that, he turned and picked up his guitar and sang a sad, sad song.
It was really beautiful to see this family come together. His mother, Sandy, has told us all about her life experiences and the struggles she'd had with her children and herself, and I have so much respect and love for her. Grieving takes time and I pray for her family, that they can be lifted by this experience and that good will come out of this. God Bless them.