I went to work.
I went to a family barbeque.
I came home and smelled a very strong body odor. And it wasn't me... or my upper lip. I have the nose of a bloodhound. bad smells make me physically ill. my house smelled wrong. And my mom has been out of town. I'm not saying she smells bad and she'll be back in the morning... I told myself that it was my cat and went into the kitchen.
I promptly freaked out. I haven't opened the pantry door for 3 days, it was open. just enough for someone to hide behind. I got spooked.I acted non-chalant and went in the back yard with my cell phone and watered the plants and tried to talk myself out of being afraid. I almost went back in the house, but freaked out again and called the PoPo.
three coppers came to my house and looked around. I waited for them in the front yard and swore they must have found someone in my closet because I could see their flashlights in there for a while.
But they were just looking at my huge attack fish... or my underwear.
they asked me if I had any problems with ghosts, because they didn't want to deal with any ghosts tonight. listen up chicken-, if it's in your job description... I told them I'd rather face down a ghost than a cracked out meth addict hiding in my pantry with an ice pick.
They nodded seriously and told me my house was all clear and that my fish (underwear drawer) is cool and to have a nice night. I know my house is safe now, but I'm still jumpy. A boyfriend would be a useful commodity right now. I'd make him sleep outside my bedroom door with a samurai sword or a machete.
In other news...
If you put my name into google or yahoo search engines, my site is the first hit. And I like that.