I'm supposed to be packing right now. But packing would mean facing the reality that we are moving out of the darling little apartment we love - tomorrow. Last year was full of miracles and intense struggle. We are moving to remove some of the strain - although I know that our coming situation will bring new challenges. My heart is so sad to leave this place. I don't want to. I truly love this place. I've been reminding myself of the negative aspects of living here to try to help myself let go, but it isn't working. So what if it unexpectedly smells weird sometimes? This is my home. I planned to stay here as long as we stay in Arizona. I planned to give birth here - literally - in my own bed. Last year was so full of heart break. No babies came, unemployment, more battles with my chronic illness - the list goes on. We have fought so many spiritual and emotional battles together here. I love who we've become in this place. I know that we will continue to grow and love and that everything will be okay. I'm just not ready to let go.