I’m exhausted from holding my tongue. EXHAUSTED. I hold my tongue because I’m so tired of explaining myself. And of being judged and labeled without the opportunity to explain myself. I’m tired of being questioned. Sometimes I just want to be, you know? But sometimes I want and need to be questioned, and to push back. So I’m going to write. And write. And write. And I’m going to do it right here, because this place has been my home for 8 years.
28 September 2012
I have gone back and forth about whether to keep trying to write here or to give it up all together. I have also considered retiring this blog and starting a new one somewhere else. Blogging has changed so very much since I began as a 20-something student 8 years ago. I used to crave this. My brain was constantly on the alert through the day for stories to tell. I’m out of the habit, but I definitely miss this. There are so very many new blogs out there and they all seem to be written by 22 year old women with unlimited clothing budgets, extraordinary creativity and crafting abilities, expensive cameras, and multiple cute babies with giant bows on their heads. If you’re one of them, more power to you. I am not one of them. And I don’t want to be. I’m also not trying to blog to become popular or generate cash for my family. I just want to write. Tell my stories. Share the happy, sad, angry, ridiculous pieces of my life. Share what I’m up to. And above all, to not hold back.