So... I've noticed that I have a tendency to want to escape my life lately. Like a lot of people, I'm an escapist, this is not unique. This tendency in all people is what makes novels and television and movies so popular. We're always looking for an escape. I know I do it. I've also been really aware of the people arouond me and their different methods of escape. I've watched movies with friends and watched their faces as they surrender to the people and places portrayed. I myself have spoken about the characters in tv shows as if they're personal acquaintances. Life really isn't so terrible that I need to live it vicariously through someone else. Now, I'm not bagging on relaxing in front of the tv or at a movie, or even by reading a book. I don't think that escaping from our lives is a bad thing. In fact, I think that frequently it is a necessary thing. I just have to make sure that I don't spend too much of my precious God-given time escaping from my life. I would rather live it. Granted, I am tired. I've had to accept that I have limitations. Trust me, this hasn't been easy, I'm still taking it a day at a time. I've had to make a decision that will force me to be more dependent on other people and to actually ask for help. This kills me, but I'm learning. I'm seeking to find a balance in my life right now. Which is another part of the journey, re-centering, refocusing, rolling with the punches, and finding a new balance. I've always looked forward to change in my life and I'm somewhat disappointed that this change is overshadowed by chronic illness. I'm trying hard to focus on the adventure and the positive changes that lay in store. I want to make the very most of my life. To set new goals, to find a proper perspective and to recognize what I am capable of even within the parameters set by my illness. So please, kick me if I'm daydreaming, it is not how I want to spend my precious time.