Boy: So what's (some random girl's name) doing with her life since high school?
Girl: Oh my gosh! She actually had a baby, what was she thinking? And she's studying something weird. Anthropology?
Boy: What is Anthropology anyway?
Girl: I think it's like the study of the body?
Me: (Obviously eavesdropping) PA HA HA!! (super loud outburst) Are you kidding me? (mocking her ever so slightly) It's more like the study of society and behavior.
Girl: Oh. My bad.
For real ya'll. I had to announce to my classmates that I'm not gonna dumb down so they can feel included in class. I can't even tell you how many times people act seriously offended because I answer questions in class and like, know stuff.
Another great conversation:
Girl: Cold sores are not herpes! I never put my face down there.
Whole class: Yes they are, it's a different kind of herpes. And you don't get them that way.
Girl: No they're not herpes, I asked my doctor. I don't have herpes!
Smarty Pants (Me): Honey, the scientific name is herpes labialis. You know, your lips?
There are some smart people around, but everyone dumbs down to make each other feel comfortable. I'm not gonna go there. The last time I was in high school was 1998. And I didn't even dumb down back then. I overheard a boy from my 11th grade biology class trying to describe me one day and he said, "you know, the girl from Florida who knows everything."
I liked it like that. Cuz I do know everything, duh.
Except how to fix my printer so I can print out my essay on what I want to be doing with my life in 5 years that's due in the morning. I'm just gonna write, "phat crib, pimp ride, lotta cash, hot man" on a post it note and hand it in.