19 July 2006

feeling pokey

i went into a traditional grocery store looking for food recently because there wasn't much in the house. i was too lazy(tired) to drive out to the farmers market/healthier food store where i usually shop. what struck me is how much frozen food there is. i know, i used to live off frozen prepackaged food that was whipped up in a factory.

now i pretty much eat things that have come from scratch. or pretty close to it. because i have so very many food sensitivities i have to be super careful in order to function everyday. i'm not always careful, but i'm trying.

i don't even like to eat out anymore, because it's a pain and it makes other people uncomfortable when i start asking the server a zillion questions and send them back to ask the cook questions, check the grill for cross contamination, etc. and usually, even after they've assured me that they will take care of it, i end up reacting to the food anyway. cross contamination is the devil.

my sensitivities seem to be getting worse as i get older. so i eat pretty much the same thing everyday, but i've always been like that so it's ok. (i see you nodding ritz.)

but i have to be the one to make my food. i don't even always trust my mom. because this is the first year of my life (count 'em, 26) that she can actually name most of my food allergies. but she is definitely getting better about it.

it'll be nice to live with my sis, reb, because she has basically the same allergies as me, plus about 10,000 more. she is remarkably kind. she is letting me live with her for free and she is paying for me start seeing her acupuncturist. he is going to help me with my allergies and fatigue. because it's getting to be too much. i'm a young and vital person and i can't live like this anymore. western medicine has failed me so i'm looking eastward for help now. i have my first appointment on friday afternoon after school. i'm really excited.

luckily i'm not afraid of needles. but he's more than just needles, i'm going on a strict detox regimen as well. i know it won't fix me overnight and i've been assured that this regimen is difficult, but it's worth it. i'm at my whit's end. i'll let you know how it goes.


nama said...

good luck with everything, leah! i hope it all works out so out can work it.

p.s. cross contamination = badness

Em said...

i do have a needle phobia. i'm ballergic.

travis said...

you have pretty eyes.

eddie said...

yeah let just say, that sux. I don't quite understand, but I know it's a battle. have you thought about problems with depression? no one would have thought that I had it, but I did. Negative self talk, thinking I could help people (when really they have to help themselves) and family issues did me in. when I am not on my meds I SLEEP A LOT, or wish I was sleeping. just a thought. we are all so extremely differnt, not everything works for everybody.

Leah Vanessa said...

I know it's hard for people to understand. I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue after I went to a shrink thinking it was depression, but I only had the physical symptoms. I have pretty normal ups and downs emotionally and the only time I'm really down is when I'm sick and don't have control over how I feel. So, I've been down that road. I have a few anxiety issues, but we ruled out depression a long time ago.

kat said...

i never thought what i ate affected me until i started really trying to eat healthy about 2 months ago and now whenever i go on a sugar binge/mexican food binge/caffeine binge i totally crash and it's amazing to me that i never noticed it before.

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