25 July 2008

psycho babble

Can anyone make sense of this? My sister and I found this crazy man's profile while perusing an LDS dating site for fun awhile back and were amazed at the nonsense that this man spewed out when asked what he is looking for. What on earth? No wonder he's still looking. Doesn't he know nobody's perfect? I'm sure he's not. I just had to post it here. Judge me if you want, but I just can't help it - outing ridiculousness is a guilty pleasure of mine.

This will be direct*. I seek someone who is well educated, refined, unpretentious, unassuming, active/strong physically and mentally, a strong personality, her own person. My personality traits include patience, tolerance, gentleness, and am very slow to anger. I seek the same. I am in good shape, well built and slender, and seek the same in my companion; "fit" matters. A balanced healthy lifestyle is important to me. If you drink soft drinks incessantly, or pursue other unhealthy habits daily, this will be a strong sticking point for an intimate relationship. We all seek charisma and beauty. But they must have enough savvy and discretion to prevent beauty from becoming a liability, and that seems rare. Romance/sensuality have a strong place in my life. Hedonistic abandonment does not. I have zero tolerance for drugs or substance abuse of any kind, present or past. I won't put that risk in my life or the life of my children. Dishonesty and lies will destroy trust and preempt any relationship. Please don't ruin this foundation by misrepresenting yourself here. I am unencumbered from bad lifestyle choices and past relationships; please travel light. Once was that women brought dowries... today, crushing debt. I prefer a woman vestured in fiscal discipline rather than a fancy wardrobe (dowry not required). I have a solid understanding of the LDS faith, in spirit and in truth, and have lived it all my life. I find a sincere and thorough church study with a prayerful search, brings a peculiar discordant dissonance with the answers. I expect my companion will also know this schism and has found how to relieve the tension this dichotomy produces in church membership. High standards and etiquette are impressive; pomposity...odious. Please know the difference. Bad experiences beg a word..., please consider. Vulgarity, coarse language, light-mindedness, rudeness, flatulent jokes, and gross childish actions should have sloughed off your personality in Jr. High. If it cleaves to you still, then I cannot. I don't preempt friendships based any point above (except honesty) so please feel free to approach me regardless if we match. I am not for everyone, but perhaps ucyibd14u.

* The above appears to elicit strong reactions both positive and negative. If so, lets chat. If you want to just "hit and run" please invest yourself elsewhere. Best wishes.

Warning: I have seen this man at institute. He walks around giving people the creepy eye while shoving food in his face. Beware.


EJNielsen said...

This is sooo funny! Sad thing is that he's just being honest and HE probably doesn't think it's funny at all. Love and miss ya!

Kayla said...

Seriously Nessa, give me his number, he is just for me.

Nessa said...

I know he's serious... he'd probably try to perform an exorcism on me if he met me. I'm the antithesis of what he's looking for, thank goodness. Kayla, I would like nothing better than to give you his number, I think you might be just what he really needs... but only if you let me secretly tape your date.

brittani c. said...

Porter! You have a cute little blog here...I'm impressed with all of your knitting. I may need a tutorial one day.
Glad you're straying away from all the psycho LDS boys out there...that description has red flags all over.

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