sick, broke, and twisted

I have WAY too much going on in my life right now. Don't get me wrong, life is still so very good. I have a lot of really good things and people in my life right now, but I'm also feeling REALLY overwhelmed so I've got to get it all some of it out here. I know that this too shall pass, but that doesn't make the present moment suck any less.

First things first.

I've been in the ER twice, twice! in the last 5 days. My sister took me in on Friday and the PA acted like excruciating abdominal pain was normal, took some blood and urine, told me I'm not pregnant (duh) and wasted 5 hours of my day. My diagnosis according to her? Heartburn. I've never had heartburn in my life, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't feel like my upper abdomen and back are in a vice while an enormous fist is punching me in the stomach. Thanks anyway. When I told her that I have a family history of appendicitis and gallbladder problems, she told me that I was overreacting. I wanted to scream in her face but I refrained.

The second visit happened today because all of a sudden I was in so much pain at work I could barely breathe. I told one of my coworkers to call 911; it was that bad. My boss drove me the 2 blocks to the hospital. They took care of business in 3 hours (blood, urine, ultrasound) and told me I have gallstones... but they aren't positive that they're the cause of my pains. So basically, I have to go see a surgeon and get more tests done and I might be losing an organ and I don't even care as long as that EVIL pain never comes back. The staff at the second hospital was amazing, they didn't treat me like I was stupid, or get my blood all over the place while trying to draw or ignore me for 5 hours. I had someone with me the whole time. And my male nurse was adorable, which always helps. They did somehow manage to make me feel guilty for my healthier lifestyle and recent weight loss. Apparently weight loss can contribute to gallbladder problems. That's just great.

On top of this, the angry redhead is storming into town as I type, so I've got some extra crampage going on.

My second issue is money. As in, I need it. As in, my current part time job has been covering my expenses, but my boss just cut my hours back. It's stressful. I need to find a full-time job closer to my house soon. I could use some prayers.

My third issue is the one I want and need most to blog about, but I can't. Because it also involves two other people and it's not my place to share their business with the world. All I can say is that with absolutely the best intentions, I've created a tangled situation wherein someone will inevitably get hurt. It will most likely be me. If not me, it will be someone very close to me and I have to accept that I caused it. I've done what I feel is best, but even good intentions can have painful consequences.

It's hard to be a grown up sometimes.