20 May 2005

Life is funny that way.

I was so stressed and unhappy at the beginning of this week, I was completely ready for a bum birthday. I was randomly bursting into tears several times a day all week. Remarkably, it was a really good day. My fam and I hung out and ate dinner and then just chilled and watched the american idol world's worst auditions and laughed like crazy. By the time the day was through, I'd developed this sense that I've finally grown into myself. It was cool. My life lay out in front of me, completely in perspective. Everything was ok. Everything was attainable. I was so aware of the essence of myself. When I was getting ready for bed, I looked in the mirror and saw a beautiful person glowing back at me. It's been a really long time since I've seen that. I don't think I've ever really seen it. I've never fully believed it anyway. I've made it. A quarter of a century is a good thing to be. I hope I feel this way x 2 million when I turn 50.


aphrodite said...

thats great that u feel that way... i only wish i could feel that way... u seem like a really cool person. right now im having a sort of argument with most of my friends, and every where i look every1 is telling me im not pretty, im not cool, i dont have any friends, im not smart... the list goes on and on, and without my friends, i dont no how 2 make myself still feel alright about myself.
Love, Marina

Heather said...

you ARE an amazing person who glows. Remember the late nights we would stay up talking. I still do, and just think you are great, and have taught me a ton. luv ya!

Kimberly said...

I'm glad you had a lovely birthday. Isn't it great to be a quarter of a century?!

You have always been wonderful, I'm just glad that you feel that way too. Yay!

aphrodite said...

thanx 4 your support. she was a really good friend when we were younger, and i thought that we could pick up our friendshp 4 years l8er. she and i just arent compatable.
mucho love,

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